34,000 Reasons

I’m writing this somewhere above the United States, 34,000 feet above to be exact. Let me say that this is a beautifully colorful country. From the patchwork design of farming counties, swirls of sand whipped desert, to the elegant cursive signature of rivers that open to endless pages of lakes and ponds.

I’m only able to concentrate so heavily on the earth below because I feel miserable up here. Not because I hate flying but because I am feeling the call of nature, not Thumper and Bambi, the nature I carry with me all day.

Still not following? I have to piss! Badly!

It’s not as simple as saying just get up and go either. I’m in the middle of a fully loaded Boeing 737, and worst of all, sitting in the window seat.

I’m finding it impossible to muster enough courage to ask the ladies next to me to move so that can provide relief for my closest friend and confidant.

By the way, the chick sitting in the seat beside me, Courtney Harris, was hot when she sat down. Totally got her number before we left the gate. About an hour into the flight I erased said number from my phone when she began drooling on herself and an odor arose from the seat that suggested she’d dropped her first of many in-flight singles.

I digress.

None of this is making me feel any better about my discomfort. Although, I have proven to myself that I can mentally control my bladder.

WOW! A US Airways plane just passed close enough for me to see the pretty Asian stewardess serving hot green tea to the schmuck in first class. That was RIDICULOUS!

Story takes a jump after they made me close the computer for landing…

So now that I am in the comforts of my hotel room life is better. Significantly! I’m relieved and Courtney is no longer brining the funk into my life.

After the plane landed I’d found so much inner peace that I no longer had the urge. Well, not the extremes. I had slowly over the course of two hours talked my bladder into submission. I am now sitting pretty in a hotel room with a smile on my face.

That is until I was given 80 pages of homework.

The saga continues. Stay Fly!